You know, I’ve never really been a fan of these films, as was probably exemplified by my previous review, but this one actually wasn’t completely terrible. If you haven’t already, take a look at my overview of the entire series before reading this. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to it.
So, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, follows a completely different set of characters, seemingly completely unrelated to the events of previous movies. It’s centered around the lives of three hispanic teenagers (Jesse, Hector, and Marisol). Jesse, the main character, lives in an apartment complex with his father, grandmother, and sister(?). Why’s the apartment complex relevant? Because a crazy woman named Anna lives in an apartment downstairs.
Before we get to that, however, Jesse buys a camera and a GoPro at a pawn shop with money he got as a graduation present.
On a random night, like any other, Jesse and Hector are hanging out in Jesse’s room, getting high, when they hear screams from downstairs. Turns out that Jesse’s room is directly above Anna’s room. These aren’t ordinary screams, however. They are bloodcurdling screams. As if someone was crawling through a bush made of barbed wire. Jesse gets the idea to take off the vent cover and stick the GoPro down the vent to get a look at what’s going on. In comes a beautiful naked woman, proudly displayed on Jesse’s old-ass tube TV. Excitement ensues but is quickly replaced by disgust as Anna enters the room, also naked. She draws a sigil on the woman’s stomach, supposedly in blood, and then Jesse’s grandmother walks into the room and whatever. I can’t really remember.
I’m not sure what order these events take place in, but the next big event that happens is Anna dies. Seriously. They kill off what seems would be the main source of evil pretty quickly. Whatever. It’s assumed that a guy named Oscar, whom the gang knows, murdered her, as Hector and Jesse witnessed him jumping out of her window the night before, as they were putzing around with some fireworks.
So they get the idea to explore Anna’s apartment which, all in all, seems pretty normal. There’s a book about demonic summoning and a door that travels through time to unholy places, and tapes that are marked with Katie and her sister’s name. I think. I’m unsure of this as well.
ANYWAY in comes the first jump scare. Oscar’s brother, Arturo, is just chilling out in the background and the gang freak out and get the hell out of dodge.
I think it’s probably around this time that Jesse and his friends take out this old Simon Says game and start fiddling around with it. As it turns out, the game responds to Jesse’s questions with yes or no answers; green for yes, red for no. oH WAIT I ALMOST FORGOT JESSE AND HECTOR ARE PLAYING BASKETBALL AND THEN THEY GET JUMPED BY SOME DUDES AND THEY GET FUCKING OWNED AS IF BY SOME DEMONIC FORCE AND I THINK OSCAR JUMPED OFF A ROOF AT SOME P- wait no did that come later? Shit. ANYWAY.
Jesse asks the Simon Says game if it took care of those gangsters for him. Naturally, the green light flashes. I can’t remember what happens next, but I remember Jesse realising that he can’t be hurt. He tries falling over, but some force stops him, and he can blow up an inflatable bed with a single breath, even with Hector laying on it.
So, some shit happens, and Jesse decides to crash a party with Hector, pick up some chicks and fuck them in Anna’s now abandoned apartment.
Bold move, Jesse. Bold move.
Jesse leaves to get a condom, Oscar pops out of a trapdoor, the hot chick screams and flees, and Jesse is confronted by Oscar who tells him that he’s been marked. By, like, a demon or a witch or something. *shrug*
Oscar then runs off AND NOW HE JUMPS OFF A ROOF AND KILLS HIMSELF. Oh well.
Eventually, Jesse makes the even bolder move of going down that trapdoor with his friends. He finds pictures of himself, as well as his mother hanging out with Anna. Weird. There’s also pictures of Oscar. Less weird.
The gang decide to talk to Arturo to check out Oscar’s room. His closet is filled with articles of other kids whose mothers died during child birth and there’s also the name “Ali Rey” and a phone number. In case you’re not aware, Ali Rey is the only survivor of the events of Paranormal Activity 2, besides the baby. And hopefully the dog.
Anyhoo, Hector and Marisol eventually decide to give her a call, they meet up, and it’s revealed that Jesse has been marked by a demon. OH NO WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THAT. Turns out that he’s going to be a host body for a demon and his friends have to help him before it happens.
Too bad it’s already happened. Jesse decides to go back down the trapdoor in Anna’s apartment, where he comes across to little girls with black eyes (presumably Katie and her sister as children) and someone in a cloak who prevents him from leaving. Oh shit the ritual has been performed and Jesse is properly FUCKED.
Good ol’ grandma comes to the rescue though and attempts to perform a ritual that will force the demon out of Jesse. It involves eggs. Yeah, I don’t know either. Demon-Jesse intervenes, breaks one of the eggs granny is holding (spewing blood everywhere) and then some SHIT GOES DOWN, Jesse is floating in the FUCKING LIVING ROOM, the entire universe shifts around him, and there’s, like, a fucking force push out of him, completely messing up the living room. Like, come on dude, have some respect. People have to clean that shit up.
So I guess the demon is supposedly out of Jesse now as he’s laying practically comatose in his bed. As suddenly as the demon was expelled from him, however, he disappears. Granny was running you a bath, man. That’s just inconsiderate. BUT WAIT. Granny is also missing too. Hector runs out of the apartment and sees Jesse standing by the stairs. Hector takes a look at the bottom aND OH NO GRANNY IS LAYING IN A POOL OF HER OWN BLOOD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS AND JESSE HAS FUCKING DISAPPEARED AGAIN. YAY.
I think at some point Hector and Marisol end up going to look for him, but he finds them. He completely fucks up Hector’s car, nearly kills the both of them, and is knocked out by an aluminum bat to the back of the head. Bra-fucking-vo. Worst demon ever.
They stuff him in the back of the car, get to gettin’, but a truck fucking t-bones them and the drivers load Jesse into it. They just can’t catch a break.
They go to Arturo’s house to, I guess, raid the witch’s lair (because they know where that is because of Ali), and load up on shotguns and pistols and a bunch of awesome weaponry that doesn’t get used for more than ten seconds.
Of course, the witch’s lair is none other than Katie’s grandmother’s house. They’re accosted by witches, Arturo blows quite a few of them away with his shotgun, him being the badass that he is, Marisol goes missing, and Hector is scouring the house for her, while being chased by witches. He runs into what I guess is a garage/greenhouse and she crashes through the ceiling. Musta slipped or something. Then he hears some sort of growling, runs upstairs, locks a door behind him, and hears Jesse pleading to let him in. At this point Hector basically knows that Jesse is the spawn of fucking Satan and refuses. The demon thus breaks down the door and Hector ends up running through a door that would logically not lead anywhere, only to find himself in the house that Katie and Micah lived in.
Okay, I’m expecting you to be confused at this point, so I’ll explain. Remember when I mentioned that they had found a book in Anna’s house that referenced a door through time to unholy places. Yeah okay.
Hector is understandably confused and wanders around a bit until he sees Katie coming down the stairs. He calls out to her, but she doesn’t seem to hear him. She walks into the kitchen and, well, opens a knife drawer. Hector approaches her and touches her on the shoulder to gain her attention, thus causing her to freak out and call for Micah. He comes barreling down the stairs, tries to kick Hector’s ass, and inevitably gets stabbed by Katie. Hector then tries to bail the fuck out back to the door and is chomped on by Demon-Jesse.
And that’s the end. No one gets out alive and shit is far worse off than it was at the beginning. I kind of feel like this film retroactively makes the rest of them better. Introducing time-travel is interesting and helps make the rest of the plot kind of make more sense. Kind of. I mean, how would an entire army of witches amass at the end of Paranormal Activity 4 without it? I dunno. It’s kinda dumb but I thought it was a get addition to the series.